When you search balance on dictionary.com, there are several different definitions that come up. My favorite of the several that came up is, balance: “
You see, I’ve never been very good at New Year Resolutions. Every year I would sit down and tell myself, “this is the year to get back in shape!” or “this year I will go to the gym 5 times a week and eat kale salad.” WHO WAS I KIDDING?! So last year, my friends proposed that we choose words to help define our year and I thought, “now this is something I can get behind! I don’t have to promise myself weight loss, or better eating, or more time outside! I can pick a word and let everything flow from that.” In 2016, I chose the word perspective. I told all of my friends and family that this was my word. Let me tell you, I used that word to help in many difficult situations all throughout 2016. So clearly, when 2017 came barreling in, I decided that I needed a new word to help me keep perspective (ha!) in the new year.
It seemed as though the word balance would be the most appropriate. With a small child (almost 9 months now, WHAT), a part time job, full time school, a husband, friends, and family to all care for and see, balance is necessary. I practically fail at this every day though.
I decided that instead of going on some crash diet, I would learn to balance my meals to make them healthier, not deprive myself of things I want, but still have more self control. Well, today I ate Taco Bell… so remind me of how well this is going? The thing is, my once a week Taco Bell or brownie, used to be an every day thing. I was feeling so tired and sluggish. Even the small changes of drinking more water and making our meals at home has helped me tremendously, so again balance.
I am also learning to balance my life as a mother. This is a whole new beast that I have to take one day at a time. I knew that it would be harder to take time for myself as a mom, there isn’t a short list to those who remind you of this while you’re pregnant. Yet, when I had Judah, I didn’t recognize my post partum depression, or post partum anxiety. I’ve written about this before here. It has been very difficult for me to see outside of taking care of him, while most recently it has gotten significantly better, every day is a new mountain to climb.
I have recognized that while I strive for balance in motherhood, I continuously fall short every day. Some days I am all in. I can be attentive and engaged all day long while ignoring how the lack of sleep monster is looming over my head. Other days, I am checking my phone every 2 minutes to see if the outside world still exists. I find that when I have balance as mom, the rest of my life falls into place pretty easily. When I ask for help, for prayer, for a friend to come over, or go out to dinner, I feel lighter. When I don’t carry my burdens alone, the balance becomes less difficult.
So friends, fellow moms, or anyone who needs a little more balance in their life, I got you. I’ll be here all year hanging out with balance, eating dinner with balance, playing with Judah with balance, eating brownies with balance, saying no with balance, going on dates with husband with balance, and *fingers crossed* sleeping better with balance.
What is your word for 2017? Please share, I’d love to hear!