Welcome to my blog ya’ll. I am Amanda. I am finally seeing the light after having a baby almost eight weeks ago. My life is basically the best song from Tangled, “At last I see the light, it’s like the fog has lifted.” No really, that’s how I feel. Having a newborn feels like you are walking around all day in a constant haze. The days turn into nights, and days go by where you realized you haven’t brushed your teeth, or hair for that matter in days. This tiny human sleeps so much, yet so little. I know for myself personally, breastfeeding was a intense disaster. This just added to the sleep deprivation!
I wanted to start this new blog with just a little bit about myself and my journey into motherhood. I have found a lot of help from the online community of moms, I do not have any friends that have (yet) had babies so I will be sharing my experiences in hopes that it can help another new momma if she is feeling alone.
When I found out I was pregnant, it was very surprising for my husband and I. We had just recently moved from Ohio to Florida, both were working at Walt Disney World, and were loving every second of it. We had plans to stay in Florida for several years up until this point. What we didn’t know was that God had other plans for us. When I became extremely ill, I ended up losing my job. We decided for our family, we should move back home to Ohio. The next 4 months flew by, and before I knew it my precious Judah was born!
My labor and delivery was a dream. For months I was absolutely terrified that I would have a traumatizing delivery. I prayed and had friends pray over me many times because I had so much anxiety about giving birth. When the time came, my water broke (I mean REALLY broke) on my due date and 14 hours later on April 22nd, my sweet Judah was born. As soon as he was placed on my chest, he lifted his head up to look at me, and that is when I knew he had me. He would be mine for the rest of my life. He is the sweetest, most beautiful baby I have ever seen. There are many times I’ll look at him in awe that he is my child.
Becoming a parent is hard. You feel pressure to perform a certain way, your friends great grandma’s aunt twice removed did her swaddling this way and it worked wonders! Well that aunt can take her swaddle down the street and throw it in the trash can. Okay, that’s harsh but really everyone seems to know the best way and it is very difficult to feel like what you’re doing is right. As a mom, there is a ton of pressure to breastfeed, and let me tell you breastfeeding is a whole thing. For some it comes natural, for others it is a continuous fight, and a lot of tears. Babies don’t latch for various reasons and when you’re going on 2 hours of sleep a day, popping a bottle in your babies mouth sounds so much better than listening to them cry because they aren’t getting enough food.
I remember my husband telling me, “you should just pump, at least he’ll have breastmilk.” and I definitely didn’t go down without a fight. I figured that if I didn’t breastfeed, Judah would somehow resent me for it, or I’d get rude comments for giving my baby a bottle, even though it was filled with breastmilk. I was caring about what everyone else thought whether than how I was feeling.
I hope through this blog I can remind fellow moms that our gut instincts are real, we know what is best for our families and for our babes. Although, I struggle with this very thing every day, I hope through my writing and sharing of my journey into motherhood, we can all lean on each other and raise our children to be happy and healthy.